What does it take to truly thrive in a foreign land? Moving to a new country like Japan is a life-altering experience, filled with opportunities, challenges, and profound lessons. For gaijins (foreigners), it often means adapting to an unfamiliar culture, finding purpose in daily life, and building a sense of belonging. But where do you start when the road ahead feels overwhelming?
I’ve discovered that the answer lies in the power of mindset. The right perspective can transform even the toughest situations into stepping stones for growth. For me, books have been my compass. These aren’t just any books—they’re transformative guides that helped me navigate the complexities of living in Japan, embrace personal growth, and create a fulfilling life.
In this post, I’ll share the six life-changing books that shaped my journey as a gaijin in Japan: Ikigai, The Laws of Lifetime Growth, 12 Simple Secrets to Happiness in a Topsy-Turvy World, Design the Long Life You’ll Love, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, and Limitless by Jim Kwik. Each of these books offered unique insights into purpose, growth, happiness, and resilience—key ingredients for thriving not just in Japan but anywhere life takes you.
Whether you’re a foreigner yourself or simply seeking inspiration for personal development, this guide will provide practical takeaways to apply to your own life. Let’s dive into the lessons that can help you unlock your potential, one mindset shift at a time.
Understanding the Role of Personal Growth in Navigating Life Abroad
When you uproot your life and move to a foreign country, everything feels unfamiliar. Even simple tasks, like shopping or making friends, can feel overwhelming. This is where personal growth becomes essential. It’s not just about learning the local language or customs—it’s about developing the emotional tools to adapt and thrive.
Personal growth teaches me to view challenges as opportunities. Instead of seeing cultural misunderstandings as failures, I learned to frame them as lessons that deepen my understanding of the world and myself. For example, when I was just learning and navigating a confusing public transportation system in Japan, it felt frustrating at first, but over time, I learned and built confidence, independence, and problem-solving skills. These small wins add up, shaping a stronger, more capable version of myself.
Why Cultivating a Positive Mindset Is Essential for Adapting to a New Country
A positive mindset isn’t just a nice idea—it’s your foundation for thriving as a gaijin. Without it, the hurdles of adapting to a new country can feel insurmountable. With it, you can reframe those same hurdles as opportunities for growth and connection.
When I first moved to Japan, I vividly remember feeling a mix of excitement and intimidation. The idea of living in a country with such a rich culture and unique customs thrilled me, but the reality of adjusting to an entirely different way of life was overwhelming.
One of the earliest challenges I faced was grocery shopping. Back home, it was a mindless task, but in Japan, the labels were in kanji I couldn’t read, and I didn’t know the difference between similar-looking ingredients. I once bought what I thought was sugar, only to discover it was salt. At first, moments like these felt defeated—simple things suddenly required so much effort.
But this is where the power of mindset comes in. I realized I had two choices: I could either let the frustration take over, or I could approach each challenge as an opportunity to learn. I started seeing grocery trips as mini language lessons.
With a notebook in hand, I jotted down new words, asked store clerks for help, and even took photos of labels to research later.
This shift in mindset didn’t just help me navigate the aisles—it boosted my confidence. Each small victory, like successfully finding soy sauce or remembering the word for “egg,” felt like an achievement. Over time, these wins added up, and I started to see myself not as someone struggling to adjust but as someone actively building a life in a new country.
That experience taught me an important lesson: thriving as a gaijin isn’t about having all the answers upfront. It’s about embracing the process, staying open to growth, and finding joy in even the smallest milestones. Adopting this mindset transformed what initially felt like obstacles into opportunities, helping me feel not just like a visitor in Japan but someone who truly belonged.
Here’s why a positive mindset matters:
• It boosts resilience. Life abroad is full of surprises—some exciting, others stressful. A positive outlook helps you bounce back from setbacks and embrace new experiences with courage.
• It fosters connection. When you approach people and situations with optimism, you’re more likely to form meaningful relationships and feel at home in your new environment.
• It empowers problem-solving. Positivity helps you think creatively and stay solution-focused, whether you’re dealing with cultural misunderstandings or navigating your daily life.
The good news is that positivity is a skill you can cultivate. Practices like gratitude journaling, mindfulness, and focusing on what’s going well—even on tough days—can help shift your perspective over time.
There were days when the challenges felt overwhelming—misunderstandings, cultural differences, and homesickness weighed heavily on me. One particularly tough day, after struggling to communicate at the post office, I came home feeling defeated. That evening, I decided to try something different: I started a gratitude journal.
At first, it felt awkward. What could I possibly be grateful for on such a frustrating day? But as I reflected, small things came to mind—a kind cashier who smiled at me, the delicious bento I had for lunch, and even the fact that I had successfully found my way back home despite my confusion earlier.
Over time, this simple habit began to change my perspective. By focusing on the good, no matter how small, I found myself feeling lighter and more optimistic. Mindfulness practices, like pausing to appreciate the cherry blossoms on my walk or savoring my morning tea, also helped me stay grounded. These moments reminded me that even tough days could hold something positive.
Cultivating positivity wasn’t an overnight transformation, but it became a skill I relied on. It taught me to approach challenges with resilience and find joy in the little things, even amid cultural adjustments.
How Books Shape Perspectives and Offer Tools for Resilience
Books have an incredible way of guiding us through life’s toughest moments. They allow us to learn from others’ experiences, reflect on our own challenges, and gain practical tools for growth. For immigrants, the right books can feel like a lifeline.
Take Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life. This book isn’t just about finding purpose; it’s a guide to appreciating life’s small moments and aligning your actions with your values. As a gaijin in Japan, this concept resonated deeply with me. By focusing on what brings joy and meaning to my daily life—whether being a loving mother to my children, learning a new word in Japanese, or cooking a favorite meal—I found it easier to adapt to a new culture while staying true to myself.
Another transformative book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, teaches the power of perspective. It reminded me to let go of minor frustrations—like getting lost in translation or navigating cultural faux pas—and focus on the bigger picture of building a fulfilling life abroad.
Books like these don’t just offer advice; they shape how we think and respond to challenges. They remind us that thriving in a new country isn’t about avoiding difficulties—it’s about using them as opportunities to grow stronger and wiser.
Final Thoughts on Mindset as Your Greatest Asset
Thriving as a gaijin starts with recognizing that your mindset is your greatest asset. By embracing personal growth, cultivating positivity, and seeking wisdom from books, you can transform even the toughest moments into meaningful experiences.
Life abroad isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. And with the right mindset, every challenge becomes a chance to create a life you love.
1. What Is Ikigai and How Does It Apply to Life in Japan
When I first heard about ikigai, I thought it had to be something monumental, like a grand life mission or a groundbreaking career. But living in Japan taught me that ikigai isn’t always about achieving something extraordinary—it’s about finding purpose in the everyday. This realization transformed the way I view my life.
Ikigai often shows up in the simplest moments of daily life. It’s in walking my kids to school and seeing their excitement for the day ahead. It’s in savoring seasonal foods that Japan is so famous for—delighting in fresh strawberries in spring or warming up with a bowl of nabe on a cold winter evening. It’s even in exchanging smiles or greetings with neighbors, those small acts of connection that make you feel part of a community.
These little moments are where I find joy and fulfillment. They remind me that purpose doesn’t always have to come from big achievements; it can grow from appreciating what’s right in front of me. But beyond these everyday moments, I’ve also come to understand my ultimate ikigai.
For me, my children are my greatest ikigai. Being a loving mother who they can share anything and everything with gives my life deep meaning. I want to be someone they can trust and turn to no matter what life throws their way. My desire to nurture them, guide them, and be a better person for them keeps me striving to grow.
At the same time, my ikigai extends to building and working on my dreams—not just for myself but for my family back in the Philippines. Every step I take toward improving myself, whether through personal growth or professional development, is also for them. The sacrifices I’ve made and the challenges I’ve faced as a gaijin are all part of this journey.
Living in Japan has taught me that ikigai is deeply personal. It’s about finding what gives you a reason to wake up each morning, no matter how simple or complex it may seem. For me, it’s in the blend of small daily joys, the love I have for my children, and the drive to create a brighter future for my loved ones. This understanding has been a guiding light, helping me navigate the ups and downs of life abroad with purpose and gratitude.
Practical Steps to Identify Your Ikigai as a Gaijin
Identifying your ikigai as a gaijin isn’t always straightforward. Moving to a new country comes with its own set of challenges—cultural differences, language barriers, and feelings of isolation. But through my journey, I discovered that ikigai is less about having it all figured out and more about taking small, intentional steps to align your life with what brings you joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose.
I can still vividly remember the moment I sat in deep solitude, questioning everything. Why is my life unfolding this way? What did I do wrong? Am I making the wrong choices? The weight of uncertainty felt unbearable, and no matter how much I tried to push forward, the doubts kept creeping in.
Life in Japan hasn’t been easy. Before I even started this blog, I had already faced struggles that tested me in ways I never imagined. I had always believed that I had someone to share my hopes and dreams with, to build a beautiful life with my children. But that wasn’t my reality. And in those quiet moments of solitude, when I closed my eyes, something extraordinary, so beautiful, happened.
I saw a vision so vivid, so full of peace, success, and happiness. A future where my children and I thrived. A life where I had built something meaningful—not just for us, but for my family, my siblings, and generations to come. I saw a successful business, a legacy in the making, and a purpose bigger than myself. It felt as if God was showing me a glimpse of the life that was waiting for me—one that was mine to claim if only I dared to keep going.
It’s so beautiful that even to this day, I’m possessed by it—so much so that it propels me to keep dreaming, keep doing, and never cease believing. That’s my life’s Ikigai. The driving force behind everything I do. The reason I refuse to settle for anything less than the life I know is meant for me, my children, and my whole family.
And if you’re searching for yours, know this—sometimes, your Ikigai isn’t something you find. It’s something that finds you in the quiet, in the struggle, in the dreams that refuse to let go of you.
Reflect on What Brings You Joy
Ask yourself: What makes you feel alive? What activities or moments make you lose track of time? For me, it’s spending time with my kids—their laughter, their curiosity, and the simple yet profound moments we share. It’s being creative, designing, and bringing ideas to life through art, digital design, or crafting something meaningful. It’s the thrill of learning—diving into books, absorbing new insights, and even binge-listening to informative and educational videos and podcasts on YouTube while doing my chores that expands my knowledge and perspective. These are the things that fuel me, that make my days feel rich and purposeful. Write down everything that brings you joy, no matter how small it seems, because in those moments, you’ll find the essence of what truly makes life fulfilling.
Identify Your Strengths
Think about what you’re good at. What skills or talents come naturally to you? What do people often praise you for? Sometimes, we overlook our own strengths because they feel so normal to us. But the truth is, your unique experiences, perspectives, and abilities are valuable—especially as a gaijin navigating a new life in Japan.
For me, starting this blog felt so liberating, so inspiring—as if I had unlocked a deeper purpose within me. Sharing my story, my struggles, and my victories became more than just words on a page; it became a way to connect, uplift, and remind others that they are not alone. My heart is filled with gratitude, knowing that my journey might encourage someone who is walking a similar path.
May my story remind you to keep the faith—faith in yourself, in the dreams that are planted in your heart, and in the beautiful life that is meant for you. Your strengths are already within you, waiting to be embraced. Trust them. Use them. And let them guide you toward the life you were always meant to live.
Look at What the World Around You Needs
Your ikigai isn’t just about what you love or what you’re good at—it’s also about how you can serve others and make a difference. Sometimes, purpose isn’t found in grand, world-changing actions but in the small ways we touch people’s lives.
When I started looking beyond my own struggles, I began to see the needs of those around me. I realized that many people in Japan were curious about different cultures and our lives as foreigners but didn’t always have the opportunity to connect. By sharing my experiences—both the joys and the challenges of being a gaijin —I wasn’t just telling my story; I was bridging gaps, building understanding, and offering comfort to those who felt alone in their journey.
That’s the beauty of ikigai—it’s not just about finding your purpose but about becoming a source of light for others. Maybe your experiences, your talents, or even your hardships can inspire or help someone else. The world needs what you have to offer. So never doubt the impact you can make.
Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Ikigai is recognizing that the life you live—the struggles you overcome, the dreams you chase, and the lessons you learn—will one day become the inspiration that lights the way for others.
One day, on a whim, feeling lost and uncertain about my purpose, I randomly searched online for books, hoping to find something that would spark inspiration. That’s when I stumbled upon an intriguing title: How Many People Does It Take to Make a Difference? The question itself made me pause. I had always believed that making a difference required something big—grand gestures, life-changing actions, or a huge platform. But as I read through its pages, I realized something profound: Impact starts small.
You don’t need to change the entire world overnight. Sometimes, changing one life, even in the smallest way, is enough. A kind word, a shared story, or simply showing up for someone can create ripples far beyond what we imagine. That realization shifted something within me. I started to see that my experiences, my struggles, and even my simple desire to share could mean something to someone else.
That book was the nudge I needed to start this blog—to embrace the idea that our lives, no matter how ordinary they may seem, hold the power to inspire, heal, and uplift others. If you’re searching for your ikigai, start by exploring, learning, and saying yes to new experiences. Who knows? A single book, conversation, or opportunity might just change everything.
Every challenge, every setback, and every victory has a purpose beyond just you. Someone out there needs to hear your story, to see that it’s possible to rise, to heal, and to thrive. When you embrace your journey fully, stepping outside your comfort zone, with all its ups and downs, you’re not just finding your purpose—you’re becoming a source of hope for others who are searching for theirs.
Discover Your Own Ikigai
How do you discover your ikigai? It starts with looking inward and asking yourself: What truly brings me joy? What am I naturally drawn to? What do I do that makes time disappear? How can I use my experiences—both the good and the painful—to make a difference?
Ikigai isn’t just about finding a passion—it’s about recognizing the intersection between what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can be valued for. It’s about realizing that your life, with all its twists and turns, is filled with meaning, even when you don’t see it yet.
For me, moving to Japan was like stepping into the unknown. At times, I struggled to find my place, to understand where I fit in this unfamiliar culture, and to balance my role as a mother, a learner, and a dreamer. But in those moments of uncertainty, I discovered something profound—the life I was living was already shaping my ikigai.
I found joy in spending time with my children, watching them grow into amazing individuals, bridging two cultures effortlessly, but my Ikigai goes beyond my role as a mother to my children; it extends to my deepest desire to build a legacy for my family back in the Philippines. They have always been my source of strength, especially when life feels heavy and doubts cloud my mind. They are the ones who have never wavered in their belief in me. No matter how impossible my dreams seemed, they always saw the potential in me and reminded me that I am worthy of the life I dreamt of because I deserved it and I am worthy of it. Their unwavering trust, their prayers, and their constant encouragement have been the fuel that keeps me going, even in moments when I doubted myself.
I’m beyond blessed to have such a loving and supportive family. They have shown me what true love and belief in someone look like. Their assurance reminds me every day that I am capable of achieving everything I set my heart on. It is because of them that I am determined to keep moving forward and to chase after my dreams, no matter how hard the path may seem. My deepest hope is to make them proud—to show them that the life I have always dreamed of is not just for me but for all of us.
My journey may be far from easy, but every step I take is a tribute to the love and belief they have invested in me. I hope my story, my struggles, and my triumphs will one day become the source of strength for someone else out there—just as their belief in me has given me the courage to continue. That, to me, is the power of Ikigai: to live a life so full of purpose that it reaches beyond yourself and touches the lives of others.
For you, finding your ikigai might look different. It could be about pursuing a passion you left behind, contributing to your new community, or simply being there for the people you care about. The key is to start small, be curious, and pay attention to what feels right. By following these steps, you’ll not only uncover your ikigai but also find a sense of belonging and purpose in your new life abroad.
Your ikigai is already within you. It’s in the moments that light you up, in the challenges that force you to grow, and in the wisdom you gain from both triumph and hardship. It’s woven into your laughter and your tears, in the dreams you refuse to let go of, in the quiet strength that keeps you moving forward—even when no one is watching.
And one day, when you look back, you’ll see it clearly: every struggle had a purpose, every setback carried a lesson, and every small step brought you closer to the life you were meant to live.
Because your journey isn’t just about finding your ikigai—it’s about becoming it. Living it. Sharing it. And in doing so, the way for someone else who is searching for theirs.
2. Always Make Your Future Bigger Than Your Past: Laws of Lifetime Growth
When I look back at my journey in Japan, I see a person full of hopes and dreams but also filled with uncertainty. The road to becoming comfortable in this new country wasn’t easy. It wasn’t always a smooth ride, and there were moments when it felt like I was stuck in a loop. But one thing kept me going—the belief that my future could be bigger, brighter, and more meaningful than my past.
In Japan, I realized that I couldn’t let my past define my future. I had to look forward to new opportunities, embrace new experiences, and keep building toward a future that felt aligned with who I wanted to become. Every challenge and every struggle was simply fuel for my growth.
Whether it was learning the language, adapting to the culture, or navigating the complexities of raising bilingual children, I knew that my future had the potential to be everything I dreamed of and more. The mistakes of the past no longer held me back; instead, they became the foundation for my future success.
Key Takeaway: Your past doesn’t have to be your anchor—it can be your springboard. Your future is yours to shape. Let every experience be a stepping stone toward the future you envision. Always make your future bigger than your past.
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Always Make Your Learning Bigger Than Your Experience: The Power of Lifelong Learning
As I embraced life in Japan, one of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned is that learning doesn’t stop—it’s a lifelong journey, especially when you’re navigating a foreign culture. At first, my experiences in Japan felt like mountains too high to climb. But I quickly realized that every challenge I faced was an opportunity to learn something new.
The language was the first obstacle. But instead of being intimidated by it, I embraced the learning process. I began to see language as a bridge to deeper connections and understanding. Whether it was learning the complex Japanese characters or mastering the subtle differences in politeness levels, I understood that my experiences would only be meaningful if they were matched by my commitment to constant learning.
Living in Japan means constant education about culture, family, work, and personal growth. I’ve come to appreciate that the more I learn, the more my world opens up. Every new lesson brings me closer to understanding myself, my family, and the people around me.
Your learning should always outpace your experience. Every experience is an opportunity for growth and transformation. In Japan, I learned that to truly live is to always stay curious, to never stop learning. Your learning will carry you to new heights, far beyond the experiences you’ve already lived.
“The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.” – Albert Einstein
Always Make Your Gratitude Greater Than Your Success: Finding Abundance in Life
One of the most powerful shifts I’ve experienced since moving to Japan is in the way I view gratitude. It’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of success, especially when you’re trying to build a new life in a new country. But what I’ve come to realize is that true success is measured not by achievements but by the depth of your gratitude.
In Japan, I learned that gratitude is the lens through which you see the beauty in every moment. Whether it’s the simple joys of family life, the kindness of strangers, or the breathtaking beauty of a Japanese garden, I’ve come to understand that every blessing, no matter how small, is worth acknowledging.
Gratitude has been a grounding force in my journey—it reminds me of all the blessings I already have. My children’s laughter, the friendships I’ve formed, the opportunity to raise amazing children in a diverse world, and the personal growth I’ve experienced—these are the things that bring me joy, not the accolades or the material success.
Key Takeaway: Gratitude is the foundation of true success. The more grateful you are for what you have, the richer your life will be. When you let gratitude guide you, every success will feel even sweeter. Live with gratitude, and you will always feel abundant, regardless of what you achieve.
“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” – Aesop
The Decision to Grow: Committing to Growth Every Single Day
Living as a gaijin has taught me a lesson about growth every single day. The decision to grow isn’t something that happens in one big moment—it’s a series of small choices made day in and day out. Every time I face a challenge, whether it’s a cultural misunderstanding, a language barrier, or the complexities of raising bilingual children, I am faced with a decision—to grow or to stay stuck.
I made the conscious decision to grow every time I stepped out of my comfort zone. Whether it was learning the intricacies of Japanese etiquette, pushing through moments of loneliness, or figuring out how to manage work-life balance in a foreign culture, each experience presented an opportunity for me to choose growth over complacency.
What I’ve learned is that growth doesn’t always look like success—it often looks like struggle, discomfort, and persistence. But growth is always worth it. The decision to grow has led me to a deeper understanding of myself, of Japan, and of what I want for my family and my future.
Key Takeaway: The decision to grow is your superpower. No one can force growth upon you; it’s a choice you make every day. Embrace discomfort, seek challenges, and make growth a part of your identity. When you do, you’ll be amazed at how far you can go.
“The only way to grow is to be willing to let go of the life you planned so as to have the life that is waiting for you.” – Joseph Campbell
Growth is a Lifelong Journey
Life as a gaijin has shown me that growth is not a destination; it’s a journey. And the beauty of that journey is that it’s never over. Each day is an opportunity to choose growth, to learn, to be grateful, and to build a future that is bigger and brighter than anything I could have imagined.
In Japan, I’ve come to realize that growth is not just about what you achieve but who you become in the process. Each day, no matter how small the step, brings me closer to a life I never dreamed possible. The challenges, the moments of doubt, and the uncertainties are all part of the beautiful tapestry I am weaving for my family and myself. Even when the path feels unclear or the obstacles seem overwhelming, the decision to keep growing—to keep pushing forward, to keep learning, and to keep being grateful—is what makes this journey so powerful.
I am learning that growth is not linear, but it is always worth it. It’s the quiet moments of reflection, the smiles of my children, and the connection to this new life in Japan that remind me that I am building something bigger than I could have ever imagined. And in those moments, I know deep in my heart that I’m not just creating a life that is full of achievement but a life that is filled with purpose, love, and meaning. And the most beautiful part is that this journey is one I get to walk every single day, hand in hand with my family, toward a future that is even more beautiful than I could have ever dreamed.
3. Happiness Simplified: 12 Simple Secrets to Happiness in a Topsy-Turvy World
Life in Japan felt anything but simple at first. I was juggling a new culture, a language I hadn’t mastered, and the challenge of raising my family far from the familiar comforts of home. There were moments when I questioned everything—if I made the right decision to move, if I’d ever feel truly at home here, if I could provide the life I dreamed of for my children. Happiness? It felt like a distant goal, something I’d reach someday—once I finally figured everything out, once life became easier, once I stopped feeling like a stranger in my own surroundings.
But as I navigated this topsy-turvy world, I came to a realization: Happiness isn’t a destination—it’s a daily practice. It’s not about waiting for everything to be perfect; it’s about creating joy in the imperfect moments, in the ordinary days, in the small habits that shift your mindset.
Redefining Happiness in a Foreign Land
Living abroad comes with an emotional rollercoaster—one day, you feel like you’re thriving, and the next, a simple miscommunication at the grocery store makes you feel like an outsider. I used to think happiness was something I’d feel once I fully adjusted to life here. But this book taught me that true happiness doesn’t come from external circumstances—it comes from within.
One of the biggest lessons I took away is that happiness is a choice, and it starts with shifting your focus:
• Instead of dwelling on what I lack—fluency in Japanese, a deep-rooted sense of belonging—I learned to appreciate what I have—the opportunity to learn, the ability to build new friendships, the resilience that comes from stepping outside my comfort zone.
• Rather than waiting for happiness to “arrive,” I started finding joy in the small, everyday wins—understanding a new phrase in Japanese, discovering a quiet park where my children love to play, and sharing a heartfelt conversation with a fellow gaijin who gets it.
Embracing Change
When I first moved to Japan, I felt as though I was walking into an entirely different world. The language, the culture, the way people lived—it was all so foreign, and in many ways, I felt like I was losing myself in the process. But something shifted within me. I realized that change wasn’t something to fear. It was something I could embrace and grow from.
In those moments of frustration—when I couldn’t express myself or struggled to understand the rhythm of Japanese life—I reminded myself: this change is mine to own. I am shaping this experience brick by brick, even if it feels like the world around me is constantly shifting. Japan taught me that change is not a roadblock but a pathway to growth. It’s in the unfamiliar that I discovered new strengths and new layers of resilience. And with each passing day, I learned to see the beauty in those small, sometimes difficult changes.
Key Takeaway: The world will change around you, but you have the power to transform with it. I may have felt isolated in those early days, but I learned that change, no matter how daunting, is the beginning of a deeper connection with yourself and the world.
Live to Learn, and Learn to Live
Japan has shown me that life is not something you just live; it’s something you learn to live every single day. Being an immigrant here, I’ve had to unlearn so many things and adapt to a new culture, a new way of thinking, and a new language. But in this process, I found that the more I opened myself up to learning, the more I truly started to live.
Every day in Japan is a lesson—whether it’s in the simplicity of daily rituals, the respect for nature, or the way people greet each other with such warmth and humility. I’ve learned more about patience, resilience, and self-discipline than I could ever have imagined. And it’s not just the knowledge that I’ve gained—it’s the deeper understanding of who I am in this vast, interconnected world.
Key Takeaway: True living happens when we commit to learning, both about the world and ourselves. Here in Japan, I’ve learned that living fully means being open to continuous change, always seeking new lessons, and embracing the possibility of becoming someone better each day.
Take Charge of Your Future
In Japan, I quickly realized that no one would carve a path for me. If I wanted to thrive, I had to create my own opportunities. At first, I struggled with doubts—Would I ever truly belong? Would I be able to build a life here for my children? But over time, I made a commitment to myself: I would not just survive here; I would take charge of my future and design a life I could be proud of.
Whether it was learning the language or navigating the complexities of raising children, I knew that I had to show up every single day with purpose. Japan may be unfamiliar, but I am the one who decides how to show up in this world. The future I create here isn’t defined by the challenges I face but by how I respond to them.
Key Takeaway: You have the power to shape your future, no matter where you are. Here, in this beautiful country, I learned that taking charge means showing up every day and believing that even in the toughest times, you have the power to move forward.
Unstress Your Stress: A Primer on Mastering Stress
Living in Japan, balancing family life, work, and learning a new culture could be overwhelming at times. Stress often felt like a constant companion. But then, I discovered something powerful from Dr. Paul Rosch’s insights on stress management. He says that the key to handling stress isn’t in avoiding it; it’s in how we respond to it. Stress is inevitable, but it’s how we deal with it that shapes our experiences.
I learned that in the hustle and bustle of life, it’s okay to stop and breathe. To take a moment and let go of the pressure I put on myself. Dr. Rosch suggests practicing mindfulness, breathing deeply, and focusing on the present. So, in the middle of the chaos—whether I was trying to understand my daughter’s schoolwork or navigating a crowded Japanese train—I would pause, take a deep breath, and be in the moment. It wasn’t about eliminating stress but about embracing it, knowing it didn’t define me.
Key Takeaway: Stress is a part of life, but you don’t have to be consumed by it. By pausing, breathing, and choosing how to respond, I found that I could turn stress into fuel for growth. It’s not the pressure that breaks us, but how we carry it.
Mastering Stress and Finding Peace Within
The teachings of Dr. Rosch really struck a chord with me. He explains that the key to stress management isn’t just about relaxation techniques—it’s about retraining the mind. When we choose to focus on what we can control—our thoughts, our actions, and our responses—we create space for peace, even in the midst of chaos.
Japan taught me this lesson in a very personal way. As a gaijin, there were many days when I felt like I was fighting against an invisible tide. But through meditation, mindfulness, and simply allowing myself to experience the emotions I was feeling, I found a deep sense of peace that I never thought was possible.
Key Takeaway: Mastering stress begins with mastering your mind. It’s about choosing peace over chaos, calm over panic, and trust over fear. Even in the face of uncertainty, you can choose peace. And that, more than anything else, is what I’ve learned in my journey here in Japan. You are not the sum of your stress; you are the peace you create in your own heart.
Final Thoughts:
Living in Japan as an immigrant has not been easy, but it has been one of the most transformative journeys of my life. Every lesson—every challenge—has shaped me in ways I couldn’t have imagined. The joy in this journey comes not from perfection but from embracing the mess, the struggles, and the growth. I’ve learned that life is not about avoiding change, stress, or difficulties but about learning to navigate them with grace and resilience.
As Dr. Paul Rosch so profoundly put it, stress doesn’t define us. How we respond to it, how we choose to grow through it, and how we embrace each new challenge—that’s what defines our journey. And as I continue to build my life here in Japan, I carry with me this truth: I am not just living; I am learning to live, one beautiful, challenging, imperfect day at a time.
4. Design the Long Life You Love
When I first moved to Japan, I felt like I had stepped into a completely different world. The language, the culture, the unspoken rules—everything was unfamiliar. It was as if I had been dropped into a beautifully intricate puzzle where I didn’t yet know how all the pieces fit together.
But in the midst of that uncertainty, I had my children. Their hands reaching for mine, their laughter echoing through our home, their warmth grounding me when I felt untethered. They reminded me of something essential: Life isn’t something that happens to you—it’s something you design.
That’s when I made a choice—one that changed everything.
I decided that no matter where I was, no matter the obstacles, I would create a life I love. Not just survive, not just get by, but design something meaningful and joyful.
Ayse Birsel, in Design the Long Life You Love, talks about this very concept: approaching life with the mindset of a designer. Life, like design, is a work in progress. You don’t wait for it to be perfect—you create, iterate, and build it brick by brick.
It wasn’t easy. Some days, it still isn’t. But deep in my heart, I know this: Someday, I will look back and be proud of what I’ve built.
And so will you.
The Power of Design: Crafting a Life That Feels Like Home
One of the most powerful insights from Design the Long Life You Love is that we have the ability to redesign our lives at any stage. When we change our perspective, we open ourselves to new possibilities, new joy, and new meaning.
Ayse Birsel’s design principles—optimism, empathy, collaboration, and holistic thinking—became my guiding light in Japan.
• Optimism: Choosing to see challenges as opportunities. Instead of focusing on what I lacked (fluency, familiarity, belonging), I started seeing what I gained—new experiences, new perspectives, and new strengths.
• Empathy: Understanding myself and those around me. I gave myself grace to learn, to grow, and to adapt. I also learned to appreciate the kindness of strangers—a neighbor offering help, a teacher encouraging my child, a simple smile from a passerby.
• Collaboration: Recognizing that life is not meant to be designed alone. I built connections with fellow immigrants, Japanese friends, and supportive communities. I realized that asking for help is not a weakness—it’s part of the process.
• Holistic Thinking: Seeing the big picture. Instead of worrying about where I should be, I started focusing on where I wanted to go. Designing a meaningful life means making small, thoughtful choices every day that bring you closer to joy.
Designing a life you love isn’t about luck—it’s about choice. A commitment to yourself. A promise that no matter what, you will build something beautiful—even if you have to lay each brick alone.
Because the truth is, no one will create your dream life for you. You are the architect. You are the builder. And the life you envision? It’s within your power to create.
Three Foundations of a Life Well-Lived
In her book, Birsel compares designing life to designing a home—it’s built with intention, layer by layer. Every meaningful life rests on three foundations:
1. Balance: Learning to Prioritize What Truly Matters
When I first moved to Japan, I thought I had to do it all—master the language, build a career, raise my children perfectly, and seamlessly blend into a culture so different from my own. But that led to exhaustion, not fulfillment.
I realized that balance isn’t about doing everything—it’s about doing what truly matters.
Birsel suggests simplifying life by focusing on what brings us joy. So, I started asking myself:
• What energizes me? (Spending time with my children, being creative, designing, and learning.)
• What drains me? (Worrying about things beyond my control.)
• How can I shift my focus toward more joy and less stress?
The answer was clear: design my days around what matters most.
Connection: Finding Home in the People You Love
There were days I felt like I had no one. Days when I longed for the familiarity of home—the ease of my native language, the effortless warmth of lifelong friendships, and missing my family in the Philippines.
But connection is something we create, not just something we find. Birsel emphasizes the importance of relationships in shaping a fulfilling life. She suggests asking:
• Who brings me joy, and how can I nurture those connections?
• How can I build new, meaningful relationships in my current life?
I started reaching out to other foreign parents at my child’s daycare, to Japanese moms who smiled at me in the park, to kind strangers who were open to connection.
And little by little, I found my people.
Because connection isn’t about geography—it’s about who you open your heart to.
Meaning: Choosing to See the Beauty in Your Journey
Birsel encourages us to redesign our perspective—to find beauty in what we already have.
Yes, life in Japan comes with challenges. But it also offers incredible moments:
• The awe of watching cherry blossoms bloom each spring.
• The quiet peace of a shrine in the early morning.
• The pride in seeing my child learning different languages.
Meaning isn’t something we wait for—it’s something we create. The more we look for beauty, the more we’ll find it.
Brick by Brick: How to Start Designing the Life You Love
1. Set Your Intentions – What kind of life do you truly want? Not what society expects, not what others think—what do YOU want? Write it down. Dream boldly. Then, take small, daily steps toward that vision.
2. Embrace the Process – Life isn’t linear. There will be setbacks. But every struggle, every misstep, every uncomfortable moment is part of the process. Keep going. Keep building.
3. Surround yourself with Positivity – Find people who uplift you, who inspire you, who remind you of what’s possible. And if you can’t find them yet? Be that person for yourself.
4. Celebrate Small Wins – Progress isn’t always obvious. But every Japanese phrase you learn, every connection you make, every moment of joy you create—it all adds up. A life you love isn’t built in a day but in a thousand little victories.
5. Trust Yourself – No one else needs to believe in your vision. You do. Trust that you are capable, strong, and resourceful enough to build the life you dream of.
A Life You’ll Be Proud Of
There was a time when I felt like I was just surviving, waiting for something—permission, opportunity, the right moment—to start truly living.
But then I realized that the life I wanted wasn’t going to just happen. I had to design it, I had to create it.
And so I did.
Brick by brick, moment by moment, I built something beautiful. And I’m still building.
So, my question to you is this:
What kind of life do you want to build?
And more importantly, what small step can you take today to start creating it?
Because one day, you will look back on this journey—the doubts, the struggles, the quiet victories—and you will realize:
You built something incredible.
Something beautiful.
Something you love.
And you did it all on your own terms.
5. Life Happens, So Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
Life is full of unexpected twists—especially when you’re navigating a new country, culture, and language. As a gaijin in Japan, I quickly realized that not everything would go as planned. From misunderstandings at the city office to getting lost in translation at my child’s daycare, the small frustrations began to pile up. At first, I stressed over every little thing—perfectionism whispering that I had to get everything right. But then, I asked myself: Will this still matter in a week? A month? A year?
The truth is, most of the things that stress us out don’t define our happiness—our mindset does. When we let go of the need for control, perfection, and always being “right,” we free ourselves to truly live.
Here are three simple yet powerful lessons that have helped me navigate life in Japan with more ease, joy, and resilience.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
In Japan, things don’t always work the way I expect them to. There were times I filled out paperwork incorrectly and had to redo everything from scratch. There were moments I misunderstood social customs and felt out of place. There were days when a small inconvenience—like missing the last bus or struggling with the ATM machine—felt like the biggest problem in the world.
But I learned something: Not everything deserves my stress.
• Instead of feeling frustrated, I started seeing these small moments as part of the adventure.
• Instead of perfection, I focused on progress.
• Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, I laughed at my mistakes and kept moving forward.
Now, when things don’t go my way, I take a deep breath and remind myself: This is just a moment, not a disaster.
Key takeaway: Most of our daily frustrations are like waves—they come, they crash, and then they disappear. We don’t have to fight every single one. Sometimes, the best thing to do is let them pass.
Make Peace with Imperfection
As a foreigner, I used to feel the pressure to blend in perfectly—to speak flawless Japanese, to master social customs, to do everything “right.” But no matter how hard I tried, there were always moments when I made mistakes.
One day, I had to give a short speech at my child’s daycare. I practiced endlessly, but when the moment came, I stumbled over my words. I felt embarrassed. But then, something unexpected happened—the Japanese parents smiled warmly, nodding in encouragement. No one was judging me the way I judged myself.
That day, I learned an important lesson: Imperfection isn’t failure—it’s humanity.
Japan taught me to embrace the beauty of imperfection—a philosophy called wabi-sabi. It means finding joy in life’s flaws, accepting that things don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. Now, I celebrate my progress instead of obsessing over perfection.
Key takeaway: Life isn’t a test—it’s a journey. The moment you let go of the need to be perfect, you free yourself to enjoy the ride.
Let Others Be “Right” Most of the Time
Before moving to Japan, I always felt the need to defend my opinions, explain my reasoning, and prove my point. But here, I discovered that peace matters more than being right.
There were times when people misunderstood me, when conversations felt frustrating, and when I wanted to argue my perspective. But I realized something: Not every battle is worth fighting. Sometimes, letting go is the greatest form of strength.
• When a shopkeeper insists on explaining something I already understand, I simply smile and listen.
• When a coworker corrects my Japanese, even if I know I was right, I thank them anyway.
• When my husband and I disagree over something small, I choose harmony over proving a point.
The result? Less stress, more peace.
This doesn’t mean suppressing your voice or ignoring important matters. It simply means choosing your battles wisely. Some things truly don’t matter in the grand scheme of life.
Key takeaway: You don’t have to win every argument to win at life. Letting go of the need to be right brings more peace than proving a point ever will.
Choosing Joy Over Stress
Moving to Japan taught me something profound: Happiness isn’t about having a perfect life—it’s about how we handle the imperfections.
• The train will run late.
• The cashier might not understand me.
• I might mix up words or make mistakes.
But none of that defines my happiness—I do.
So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, remind yourself: Life happens. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Let go, laugh more, and choose joy over stress. Because in the end, it’s not the little problems that matter—it’s the beautiful, imperfect, wonderful life you’re creating along the way.
6. Unlocking Your Potential: Limitless by Jim Kwik
Living abroad, especially in a country like Japan, is more than just an external journey—it’s an internal transformation. It’s a test of resilience, adaptability, and the willingness to grow beyond who you once were. Like many foreigners, I found that adapting to a new culture and environment didn’t just push me outside my physical comfort zone—it forced me to confront my own mental limitations. I questioned my abilities, doubted my potential, and wondered if I was truly capable of achieving the life I envisioned.
That’s when I discovered Limitless by Jim Kwik, a book that didn’t just change the way I think—it changed the way I believe in myself. Kwik’s teachings revolve around one powerful truth: The only limits that exist are the ones we place on ourselves. His words unlocked a belief in me that had been buried under fear and self-doubt—the belief that I already have everything within me to achieve my heart’s deepest desires.
This book became a turning point in my journey. It gave me wisdom, practical tools, and a mindset shift that completely transformed the way I approached learning, growth, and chasing after my dreams. It taught me that intelligence isn’t fixed, that my brain is capable of extraordinary things, and that success isn’t reserved for a select few—it’s available to anyone willing to break free from self-imposed limits.
The lessons from Limitless helped me see that my circumstances do not define me—my mindset does. Every challenge I faced as a gaijin wasn’t a roadblock; it was an opportunity to grow stronger, wiser, and more capable. The moment I let go of the belief that I wasn’t “enough,” I started to thrive in ways I never imagined.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, doubted your abilities, or wondered if you’re truly capable of achieving your wildest dreams, Limitless is the kind of book that will shake your perspective and show you just how powerful you really are. Let me walk you through some of the key concepts that helped me break through my limiting beliefs, boost my confidence, and develop life-changing habits—especially as I continue navigating this incredible journey of life abroad.
Overcoming Mental Barriers and Limiting Beliefs
When I first arrived in Japan, I was filled with doubts. Can I really learn Japanese? Can I thrive in a completely different work culture? I had these nagging mental barriers that limited my potential and made me question my abilities. But one thing Jim Kwik teaches in Limitless is that your mind is not a fixed entity. It can be trained and developed to unlock new possibilities, regardless of your age or circumstances.
The first step in overcoming these barriers was acknowledging them. I realized that I had been holding myself back with limiting beliefs—believing that certain things were just “too hard” or “not possible” for me. This is common when we’re in a foreign culture or trying to adapt to new environments. But the truth is, these beliefs are just stories we tell ourselves. Once I recognized that, I began to replace them with empowering thoughts.
For example, when I struggled to learn Japanese, I reminded myself that language is a skill that anyone can master with practice. I stopped thinking of it as something I “couldn’t” do and started focusing on the small steps I could take to improve, no matter how slow or challenging it seemed. Slowly, my mindset shifted from “I can’t” to “I can.”
The Only Limits Are the Ones We Place on Ourselves
We often believe that the biggest obstacles in our lives come from the outside—our circumstances, our environment, or the challenges we face. But in reality, the most powerful limitations are the ones we place on ourselves. The doubts that whisper, “I’m not smart enough.” The fears that say, “What if I fail?” The hesitation that keeps us from stepping into something greater because we’re afraid of the unknown.
But what if those limits weren’t real?
What if the only thing holding you back wasn’t your lack of ability but the belief that you weren’t capable?
When I first started my journey in Japan, I carried so many self-imposed limits without even realizing it. I told myself I wasn’t good enough to achieve the dreams that lived in my heart. I questioned whether I had what it took to build a life beyond survival—to truly thrive. It wasn’t my environment that was keeping me small—it was the way I thought about myself.
That’s where Limitless changed everything for me. It taught me that my brain, my potential, and my future were not fixed. I wasn’t destined to stay where I was just because of my past experiences or my fears. I had the power to rewire my mind, to break free from limiting beliefs, and to step into a version of myself that I never thought possible.
By shifting my mindset, I started to see growth in every area of my life. I no longer viewed challenges as stop signs—they became stepping stones. Every time I replaced a limiting belief with an empowering one, I unlocked new opportunities. I became more confident, more capable, and more in control of my destiny.
And the truth is, this is possible for you, too.
The limits you feel today aren’t real barriers—they’re just old stories you’ve told yourself for too long. But you have the power to rewrite those stories. You have the ability to say, “I am capable. I am worthy. I am limitless.”
When you let go of the belief that you are stuck, you begin to see how much potential is already within you. And when you start believing in your power, that’s when the real transformation begins.
So take a moment and ask yourself: What limiting beliefs have I been holding onto? And more importantly, what would happen if I chose to let it go?
Because once you do, you’ll see that there’s nothing truly standing in your way—except the belief that something is.
Developing Learning Habits for a More Effective Life Abroad
In Limitless, Kwik emphasizes the power of learning habits. The idea is simple: if you consistently adopt good learning habits, you can master any skill or topic. When I moved to Japan, one of the biggest challenges was learning Japanese, which seemed like an endless, intimidating task. But instead of trying to learn everything at once, I applied Kwik’s principle of “small, consistent actions.”
Here’s what I did:
1. Break Information into Small Chunks:
Rather than cramming all my learning into one intense session, I divided my language learning into smaller, more manageable pieces. I’d focus on learning five new words each day, reading Japanese-English books or practicing or talking to my Japanese colleagues. This kept me from feeling overwhelmed.
2. Daily Practice:
Consistency is key. Every day, I dedicated just 10-15 minutes to studying Japanese. This small, consistent habit eventually paid off, and I noticed myself retaining more than I had expected. Learning didn’t feel like a chore anymore; it became a part of my daily routine.
3. Make Learning Fun:
Kwik talks about creating enjoyable learning experiences, and I applied this by watching Japanese movies and reading books in Japanese-English. Engaging with the language outside of textbooks made it more enjoyable and helped reinforce what I was learning in real-life contexts.
Key Takeaway: Growth Comes from Consistency, Not Speed
When it comes to learning, the secret isn’t to cram or rush—it’s about showing up every day, even if it’s just a small step forward. Whether you’re learning a new language, adjusting to a new culture, or mastering a new skill, the real game-changer isn’t how fast you progress but how consistently you show up for yourself.
I’m not yet a very fluent Japanese speaker. I still struggle with certain words, and sometimes, I get frustrated when I can’t express myself the way I want to. But I remind myself that growth isn’t about being perfect—it’s about persistence. Even if I learn just one new word a day, that’s still progress. And over time, those small steps add up to something bigger than I could have imagined.
This applies to every area of life. It’s easy to feel discouraged when you don’t see immediate results. Maybe you’ve been working toward a goal, and it still feels out of reach. Maybe you’re trying to adjust to a new life in Japan, and the culture shock feels overwhelming. But remember, it’s not about how quickly you get there—it’s about not giving up.
Every time you push yourself to learn a little more, to try again, to keep going despite the challenges, you’re reinforcing a powerful truth: You are capable of growth.
So don’t worry about being the best, the fastest, or the most talented. Just focus on being consistent. Show up for yourself. Take small, daily steps toward your goals. Because in the end, it’s those tiny, consistent efforts that shape the person you’re becoming.
And one day, you’ll look back and realize that all those small steps were leading you exactly where you were meant to be.
Boosting Confidence and Clarity Through Mindset Mastery
One of the most empowering aspects of Limitless is its focus on mastering your mindset to boost confidence and clarity. I often found myself second-guessing my abilities in Japan, especially in social situations or at work, where the cultural expectations were different from what I was used to. But Jim Kwik encourages us to view our minds as tools that we can sharpen, just like any other skill.
I started applying the “power of positive thinking” by repeating affirmations like “I am capable of learning any skill that can help me achieve my goals” and “I am confident in my ability to adapt ” or ” I have everything within me to achieve my heart’s every desire “. This mindset shift didn’t happen overnight, but over time, I began to see myself as someone who could not only survive in Japan but thrive.
Beyond affirmations, Kwik’s approach to gaining clarity—writing down your goals and “visualizing your success”—also played a big role. Every time I felt unsure, I’d take a moment to write out my goals. Whether it was mastering a difficult word or having a conversation with a colleague in Japanese, I’d visualize myself succeeding. This gave me a clearer sense of direction and purpose, even on tough days.
Key Takeaway: Confidence Comes from Action, Not Perfection
Building confidence isn’t about pretending to have it all figured out—it’s about showing up for yourself, day after day, with a positive mindset and a clear vision of where you want to go. Confidence doesn’t come from waiting until you feel “ready.” It comes from taking action, even when you feel unsure, even when fear whispers that you’re not enough.
I used to think confidence was something you either had or didn’t. But I’ve learned that it’s something you build. Every time you push past self-doubt, every time you take a step toward your goals—no matter how small—you’re reinforcing the belief that you are capable.
Through mindset mastery, I discovered that confidence isn’t about being perfect or never failing. It’s about learning to trust yourself. It’s about replacing thoughts like “What if I fail?” with “What if I succeed?” It’s about shifting from “I’m not good enough” to “I am still learning, and that’s okay.”
And the truth is, you will face challenges—whether it’s adapting to life in Japan, learning a new language, or pursuing your biggest dreams. But when you train your mind to see obstacles as opportunities rather than setbacks, you unlock a version of yourself that’s unstoppable.
So don’t wait for confidence to find you. Build it step by step by taking action, staying committed to your growth, and believing in your ability to figure things out. Because once you do, there’s no challenge too big, no goal too distant—you’ll realize that you have everything within you to succeed. Unlocking Your Potential
Living abroad is more than just a location change—it’s a transformation of the self. It can feel overwhelming at times, like stepping into an unfamiliar world where everything feels different, from the language to the customs to the way people interact. But within this challenge lies an incredible opportunity: the chance to become more than you ever thought possible.
Jim Kwik’s Limitless taught me that the biggest obstacles we face aren’t the external ones—it’s the mental barriers we place on ourselves. The doubts that tell us we’re not good enough, the fears that convince us we’ll never learn the language, the limiting beliefs that whisper our dreams are too big. But here’s the truth: Your mind is limitless. The only thing standing between you and the life you dream of is the belief that you can create it.
So, take it one step at a time. Focus on small, daily habits that move you forward—whether it’s learning one new word in Japanese, pushing past your comfort zone, or choosing to believe in yourself just a little more each day. Growth doesn’t happen overnight, but every small action compounds into something greater.
And when the journey feels hard—because it will—remind yourself that every challenge is shaping you into the person you’re meant to become. The struggles aren’t roadblocks; they’re lessons. The setbacks aren’t failures; they’re part of the process. Each challenge you overcome is proof that you are stronger, wiser, and more capable than you once believed.
So, what’s holding you back? The life you want, the dreams you carry in your heart—they are waiting for you to take the first step. You don’t need permission. You don’t need to have it all figured out. All you need is the courage to start.
Because the journey of self-discovery, growth, and personal success is truly limitless. And it’s yours for the taking.
A Final Thought: Embrace the Beauty of an Imperfect Life
Life will never be perfect, but that’s what makes it beautiful. The little mistakes, the unexpected detours, the moments that don’t go as planned—they all weave together to create a life that is uniquely yours.
For so long, I tried to control everything, to make sure I got everything “right.” But living in Japan has taught me that true peace comes not from perfection but from acceptance. When I stopped sweating the small stuff, when I made peace with imperfections—both in myself and in others—life became lighter, more joyful, more meaningful.
And maybe that’s the secret to happiness. To laugh when things don’t go as planned. To embrace life’s little quirks instead of fighting them. To let people be who they are without always needing to be “right.”
So as you go through your journey—whether it’s in a new country, a new phase of life, or simply a new mindset—remember this: you don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to keep showing up, keep learning, and keep choosing joy.
Because, in the end, the way you see life is the way you experience it. And when you choose to let go, to trust, and to embrace the journey as it is—life becomes a little more magical.
