We all want something more—a better life, a stronger version of ourselves, the freedom to choose and live boldly. But between where we are and where we dream to be, there is a bridge… and that bridge is built with discipline. Not talent, not luck—just the daily decision to keep going, even when no one’s watching. In a world full of distractions, shortcuts, and excuses, self-discipline isn’t just a trait—it’s the master key to everything your heart longs for. And once you hold it, no dream is out of reach.
Last time, we talked about how every small decision adds up—that our lives are shaped not by one big choice, but by the quiet, repeated ones. That’s the essence of The Compound Effect.
But here’s the truth no one likes to admit:
We all know what the right choices are… but why do we struggle to make them?
Why do we hit snooze when we promised ourselves we’d wake up early?
Why do we scroll for hours when we vowed to build our dream life?
Why do we keep starting over again and again?
The answer isn’t laziness or weakness.
It’s biology.
In his book, The Power of Discipline, Daniel Walter reveals a truth that changed the way I saw myself:
Discipline isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build—and it starts by understanding how your brain actually works.
As a foreign mom in Japan, juggling motherhood, heartbreak, and a quiet dream to create something meaningful, I used to think I was just not “strong enough” to stay consistent.
But this chapter showed me something liberating:
Self-discipline is a skill. Not a trait. Not a gift. A skill—trainable, rewritable, rebuildable.
And when you learn how to train your mind to choose your future over your feelings, you won’t just survive—you’ll rise.
Let me take you into Chapter 1, where we unravel the biological battle inside our brains and discover how discipline begins—not with motivation, but with understanding the beautiful complexity of who we are.
Chapter 1: The Biological Argument – Why We Struggle Even When We Want to Succeed
Have you ever asked yourself, “Why can’t I just do what I know I should do?”
You make a plan to wake up early, to write that blog, to work on your dreams… but somehow, distractions sneak in, motivation fades, and by the end of the day, you’re left with disappointment and guilt instead of progress.
I used to think that meant I was weak. Lazy. Undisciplined.
But the truth is far more freeing—and far more powerful.
In The Power of Discipline, Daniel Walter reveals something life-changing: you’re not broken. You’re biologically wired to choose comfort over challenge. And unless you understand the battle happening in your brain, discipline will always feel like a war you keep losing.
When I first came to Japan, trying to build a new life while raising children in a foreign land, I often found myself paralyzed by this exact struggle. I had big dreams burning in my heart, but my body craved rest. My mind drifted. And I didn’t understand why I felt stuck between wanting more and doing less.
But now, learning about the two parts of the brain that fight for control—one driven by impulse and instant gratification, the other by long-term vision—I started to see everything differently.
I wasn’t a failure.
I was just letting the wrong part of my brain lead.
In this chapter, we’ll dive into what’s really going on in your mind:
- Why discipline feels so hard
- How delayed gratification changes your future
- What executive function and focus really mean
- How willpower works like a battery—and how to protect it
- And how to finally shift control to the part of your brain that helps you win
Because once you understand the biology of self-discipline, you can stop blaming yourself and start rebuilding your life with compassion, clarity, and control.
This isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about finally understanding how to make discipline your ally, not your enemy.
Let’s begin.
Inside the Brain: Two Voices, Two Futures
Daniel Walter highlights a fascinating truth backed by neuroscience:
Inside our brain, two areas are in constant conflict—one urges us to give in to temptation, while the other pushes us to stay focused and future-driven.
Let’s meet them:
1. Ventral Medial Prefrontal Cortex (VMPFC) – The Voice of ‘Now”.
This is the impulsive, emotion-driven part of the brain. It lights up when we see something tempting, like sweets, a notification on our phone, or the comfort of skipping a hard task.
It doesn’t think about tomorrow. It wants what feels good right now.
This is the voice that says:
“You’ve had a hard day—just relax.”
“You’ll start tomorrow. One more episode won’t hurt.”
The VMPFC is essential for survival. It helped our ancestors respond quickly to threats or take advantage of food when it was available. But in today’s world, where distractions are everywhere, it often leads us to short-term pleasure and long-term regret.
As a mom in Japan, I know this voice well. After a long day, working full time, juggling parenting, and navigating a tough marriage, that inner voice would say:
“You deserve to rest. Just scroll for a while.”
And honestly? Sometimes I listened. I was exhausted. But the more I gave in, the more I drifted from the life I wanted.
2. Dorsolateral Prefrontal Cortex (DLPFC) – The Voice of Discipline
This part of the brain is your executive thinker—the one that plans, reasons, and delays gratification. It’s responsible for setting goals, resisting distractions, and imagining your future.
The DLPFC says:
“You’ll feel proud if you finish this.”
“Sacrifice now so your children will have a better life later.”
This is the part of the brain we want to strengthen.
But here’s the truth: it takes intentional training to let this voice lead.
For me, I had to create space for it to speak louder. I wake up early—just 15 minutes, even if I slept late—to plan my day quietly before the chaos begins. I placed reminders on my wall: “If You Can Dream It, You Can Do It – Walt Disney,” with my dream life, reminding my brain that’s the life we’re working towards.
Each time I chose to act from my DLPFC instead of my impulses, I felt stronger. More grounded.
And that’s what Daniel Walter teaches: Discipline isn’t just a decision. It’s a habit of letting your higher brain lead.
So What Can You Do?
When life feels overwhelming, remember: you can train your brain to respond with strength instead of emotion. The Dorsolateral Prefrontal Cortex (DLPFC)—your brain’s CEO—is responsible for long-term thinking, planning, and resisting temptation.
Here are simple yet powerful ways to help your DLPFC lead with clarity:
• Pause Before Reacting
Before you respond to a craving, frustration, or urge, stop. Count to ten. This tiny pause gives your DLPFC time to take over and stop your impulses from making the decision for you.
• Visualize Your Future Self
Close your eyes and see the life you’re working toward. Imagine your children smiling, proud of who you’ve become. Let that image guide your choices—it’s your inner compass.
• Build Gentle Routines
Every small routine you create—waking up early, writing, walking—frees up brainpower. The fewer random decisions your brain makes daily, the stronger your discipline muscle becomes.
• Rest to Stay Strong
A tired brain defaults to the emotional VMPFC. That’s when we snap, quit, or give in. Guard your sleep. Make time for silence, prayer, or simply breathing deeply. This is how you protect your mental stamina.
Why Your Brain Fights Discipline (and How You Can Win)
Before we can master self-discipline, we need to understand the battlefield—and the battlefield is our brain.
Daniel Walter explains that we’re all fighting a quiet war inside our minds every day. The old part of our brain—the one that wants comfort, pleasure, and quick rewards—is constantly pulling us toward distraction. But another part of our brain that holds the key to our growth: the part that can think long-term, make wise decisions, and build a meaningful life.
Let’s explore the science—and then we’ll learn and apply it to real life.
Delayed Gratification: The Superpower of Successful People
Delayed gratification means resisting a smaller, immediate reward in favor of a larger, long-term gain.
Walter draws on the famous Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, where children were given a choice: eat one marshmallow now, or wait 15 minutes and get two. The children who waited went on to have better life outcomes—academically, financially, and socially.
Why?
Because they had one powerful trait: discipline over desire.
But here’s the hard truth:
Your brain hates waiting.
It loves dopamine—the feel-good chemical we get from things like scrolling, shopping, sugar, or binge-watching. It wants reward now, not later.
As for me, I know this struggle all too well.
When I was emotionally drained in Japan, with no one to talk to and problems piling up, my brain screamed for comfort.
F0ood. TV. Mindless Scrolling.
Escape.
But every time I chose short-term comfort, I woke up to the same pain.
It wasn’t until I started choosing delayed gratification—writing instead of scrolling, learning instead of daydreaming, praying instead of panicking—that I saw real change. It wasn’t easy. But it was powerful.
And that’s the key. Discipline says, “Not now. Because something greater is coming.”
Focus and Executive Function: Your Brain’s Command Center
As stated above, the prefrontal cortex, especially the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, is responsible for something called executive function—your ability to make decisions, set goals, stay focused, and control impulses.
Daniel Walter explains that people who train their executive function are better at resisting temptations, finishing what they start, and thinking before they act.
But modern life is designed to destroy focus. Social media. Notifications. Endless distractions.
Focus isn’t natural—it’s something we must fight for.
Living in Japan, I often felt overstimulated. New language, new culture, unfamiliar systems—it was mentally exhausting.
There were moments I just wanted to give up trying. To stop doing what I’m learning, stop tracking, stop writing.
But I knew this: If I could master my focus, I could master my future.
So I built a quiet routine. I started writing in the early morning before the kids woke up. I turned off my phone.I journal and track my routines. I made lists. I simplified.
Each time I chose to focus, I was strengthening my executive function.
And slowly, things began to shift.
Walter says, “The more you exercise focus, the more powerful it becomes.” I know it’s not that easy, as I’m still struggling with it sometimes, especially when you have so many things to do. But I always reminded myself that all of this hard work is the seed I’m planting to build my dream Life.
Willpower: A Muscle You Can Train (or Exhaust)
Willpower is the energy you use to resist temptation, do hard things, and follow through with your commitments.
But here’s the part many people miss—willpower is limited.
Walter compares it to a battery. Every decision you make—what to wear, what to eat, what to say—drains your willpower. And when the battery runs low? You’re more likely to give in to bad habits.
That’s why people binge at night, not in the morning.
That’s why discipline feels harder at 9 pm than at 9 am.
But here’s the hopeful part: you can conserve, protect, and strengthen your willpower over time.
Fatigue and Willpower Protection: Build Systems, Not Just Strength
Walter teaches that instead of relying on raw willpower alone, we must build systems to protect it.
• Create routines. The less you think, the less you drain your battery.
• Remove temptations. Out of sight, out of struggle.
• Make hard things automatic. Don’t decide daily—decide once and stick to it.
In my life, this changed everything.
There were days when I had zero motivation to write.
But because I had a fixed writing hour and a simple ritual (coffee + laptop + quiet music), I didn’t have to fight with myself every morning.
The system carried me when my strength couldn’t.
Discipline became easier, not because I became superhuman, but because I removed the battles I didn’t need to fight.
You Are Not Broken—You’re Wired This Way. And You Can Rewire.
If you’ve ever felt like you “just don’t have discipline,” I want you to know something:
You’re not lazy. You’re not weak. You’re human.
Your brain was designed for survival, not success.
It seeks comfort, not growth.
But you have the power to retrain it.
And every time you choose to delay gratification, focus on what matters, protect your energy, and follow through with your goals, you are literally rewiring your brain to become stronger.
That’s what I’ve done in my quiet, ordinary life here in Japan.
No spotlight. No applause. Just small, brave choices made in the shadows.
And slowly, they’ve changed everything.
If you’re struggling, let this chapter be your reminder:
The war is not over. The battle is not lost. Your brain is not your enemy.
It just needs direction.
And the more you lead with discipline, the more your life will begin to follow.
Chapter 2: The Benefits of Self-Discipline – Your Greatest Investment
In this chapter, Daniel Walter doesn’t just define self-discipline—he dignifies it.
He shows us that discipline isn’t about denying yourself joy.
It’s about delaying lesser pleasures to create a life of deeper, lasting fulfillment.
It’s like planting seeds today, while others chase quick results.
And when their excitement fades, your harvest begins.
“Self-discipline isn’t just about waking up early or sticking to your goals. It’s about who you become when no one is watching. It’s the quiet power that shapes your confidence, heals your relationships, protects your peace, and keeps you from falling into the same pain again and again.”
Back when I first came to Japan, I thought I just needed to survive — get through each day, learn the system, and hold my little family together. But what I didn’t realize is that self-discipline would become the secret weapon I never knew I needed.
1. Self-Discipline Raises Your Self-Confidence
When you consistently keep promises to yourself — even the small ones — something amazing happens: you begin to trust yourself.
That’s what builds unshakable self-belief.
Daniel Walter explains that confidence doesn’t come from motivational quotes or praise from others. It comes from the daily habit of doing hard things, especially when you don’t feel like it.
For me, this looked like learning every day, even when I was emotionally exhausted. It was standing up for myself during hard conversations, saying “no” when I used to say “yes” out of fear.
And slowly, the timid, uncertain woman who landed in Japan started to believe in her ability to stand on her own. That’s what self-discipline does — it reminds you of your power.
Discipline creates a track record of integrity.
And confidence? That’s just the echo of your own consistency.
2. Self-Discipline Builds Better Relationships
Here’s something we don’t hear often enough: disorganized people hurt people. Not because they mean to, but because they haven’t trained themselves to respond with emotional maturity.
When you lack self-control, it’s easy to scold your kids, argue with your partner, or ghost people when things get hard. But discipline teaches you to pause, to choose patience over impulse, love over ego.
In my own marriage, I often felt hurt, unseen, and emotionally abandoned. And while I couldn’t change the other person’s behavior, I could change how I respond and show up.
Self-discipline improves how we treat others, not just how we treat ourselves.
Why? Because discipline helps us manage our moods, control our reactions, and show up with kindness even when we don’t feel like it.
And this hit home for me.
There were times when I felt so frustrated, so overwhelmed, and so emotionally neglected by the people around me that I wanted to snap.
Yell. Withdraw. Walk away.
But discipline taught me to pause.
To respond instead of react.
To choose patience when my emotions begged for war.
It’s not easy.
But each time I chose grace, each time I chose to speak gently instead of harshly, I strengthened my relationships, especially with my children.
And that’s the gift of discipline:
It trains your heart to lead with love, even when life feels unfair.
3. You Will Stop Being So Easily Offended
This one hit me hard. In the book, Walter explains that offense is often a sign of internal insecurity. When we’re emotionally fragile, everything feels like an attack.
But when you practice self-discipline — through meditation, journaling, or just learning to regulate your reactions — you become emotionally strong.
Living in Japan as a foreigner, I’ve had people stare at me, judge my parenting, or question my choices. In the past, I took it all personally. But now? I see their comments as a reflection of them, not me.
Power Insight: Discipline helps you master your mind so that you stop giving power to people who were never meant to control your peace.
4. You Will Avoid Risky Behaviors
People don’t usually plan to mess up their lives, but a lack of discipline makes it far too easy.
According to the book, undisciplined people are more likely to gamble, overspend, lash out, or numb their pain through unhealthy coping, simply because they never trained their minds to pause and think before acting.
I’ve been there.
There were days I wanted to give up on everything. Days I wanted to disappear or make desperate choices out of pain. But self-discipline saved me — not because I’m perfect, but because I started asking, “Will this bring me closer or further from the life I want?”
Now I learned to keep calm when he rages. Not because I’m weak but because I’ve decided that his ill behavior won’t affect me anymore. I speak with intention instead of yelling in frustration. I choose slow healing over quick, reckless reactions.
Self-discipline protects your future from your temporary emotions.
Discipline isn’t Punishment — It’s Protection
It’s the armor we wear when life throws arrows, the bridge we build when relationships break, and the path we walk when we feel lost. Every time you say no to an old pattern, you’re saying yes to a new you.”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned living in Japan with two children and a mountain of challenges, it’s this: discipline is love in action. It’s how we fight for ourselves when no one else will.
So keep choosing it — not just for the success it brings, but for the strength it builds in your soul.
The Best Version of You is Built in the Fire
Self-discipline isn’t glamorous.
It doesn’t always feel good.
Sometimes, it feels like you’re walking alone, doing the hard thing while everyone else takes shortcuts.
It builds your character.
It strengthens your relationships.
It protects your peace.
It creates a quiet, unshakable confidence.
And in a world full of noise, quick fixes, and surface-level happiness, discipline leads you to depth, to healing, and to true freedom.
Chapter 3: The Status Quo Bias – Why We Resist Change
“Comfort is a beautiful prison. You don’t see the bars until you try to leave.”
We all want a better life.
A healthier body, a calmer mind, a more stable future, fulfilling relationships, freedom from financial stress… It’s in all of us.
And yet, when change knocks, we hesitate.
We stall.
We cling to what’s familiar—even when it hurts.
Why?
Because the human brain is wired to protect us from the unknown.
As Daniel Walter explains in this chapter, what’s holding most of us back isn’t laziness—it’s the invisible pull of the status quo bias: a psychological force that tricks us into thinking that “staying where we are” is somehow safer.
I know this truth intimately.
Living in Japan, far from home, in a life I didn’t expect, I often found myself settling—not because I was truly at peace, but because I was afraid of what change might cost me.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
If you don’t challenge your comfort zone, your comfort zone will become your cage.
Let’s uncover the deep-rooted beliefs that keep us stuck—and how we can rise above them.
What Is the Status Quo Bias?
Daniel Walter explains that the status quo bias is our brain’s natural tendency to prefer things to stay the same, even if they’re not working to our benefit. It’s a cognitive bias that we convince ourselves that discomfort, because it’s familiar, is better than uncertainty.
We stay in jobs we hate, relationships that drain us, routines that dull us… simply because they’re familiar.
This is not weakness.
It’s human.
But growth—real, lasting growth—requires that we overcome this mental trap.
The Sunk Cost Fallacy
This is one of the most dangerous traps of all.
It’s the idea that “I’ve already invested too much to walk away now.”
It might sound like:
- “I’ve been in this marriage too long to start over.”
- “I’ve put years into this job, I can’t just leave.”
- “I’ve already sacrificed so much… I can’t give up now.”
But here’s the truth:
Just because you’ve spent time, energy, money, or even your heart into something doesn’t mean you’re obligated to stay in it.
I stayed in silence for years, telling myself that same story —
“I’ve already sacrificed so much for this marriage… how could I walk away now?”
But the truth was, I wasn’t “fighting” for love anymore — I was losing myself trying to hold together something that wasn’t fighting for me.
And when all the financial settlements are finally fixed and I can breathe freely again, I already know where my heart is heading:
Toward a life with someone who truly values my worth, respects me as a woman, supports me with my endeavors, and walks alongside me and my children in this life.
That’s the power of waking up to the sunk cost fallacy.
Loss Aversion Theory
Another reason we resist change is that we hate losing more than we love winning.
According to the Loss Aversion Theory, the pain of loss hits us twice as hard as the joy of gain.
That means even if the alternative could be amazing, our brain focuses more on what we might lose along the way.
I remember finding this opportunity that could help me financially, but it meant stepping into unfamiliar territory. New things to learn, new skills, uncertainty.
Immediately, fear screamed: “What if it doesn’t work out?”
And I almost said no.
Not because the opportunity was wrong, but because the loss felt scarier than the gain felt exciting.
But when I finally took the leap?
That step forward opened doors I didn’t even know existed.
Discipline gives you the courage to pursue what you deserve, not just what you’re used to.
The Fear of Regret
Daniel Walter touches on another powerful concept: we often resist change because we’re afraid we’ll regret it later.
“What if I leave and it gets worse?”
“What if I try something new and fail?”
“What if I make the wrong choice?”
But here’s something that shifted me forever:
Regret doesn’t come from taking risks. It comes from not becoming who you were meant to be.
And let me tell you—as a mom, a dreamer, and a woman standing alone, unsupported in a foreign land, I’ve had moments of deep reflection… moments where I asked,
“Will I look back and wish I had been braver?”
That fear of regret?
It’s real. But what’s more real is the ache of not trying, of not choosing You.
The Mere Exposure Effect
It means that the more familiar something is—even if it’s not good—the more we tend to prefer it.
Our brain is addicted to familiarity.
That’s why people stay in toxic environments.
That’s why they choose the same routines, even if they’re ineffective.
Because at least they “know how this feels.”
But here’s the thing:
Familiarity is not the same as peace.
Just because something is known doesn’t mean it’s right.
In Japan, I learned to be strong in the unfamiliar.
I started to adapt to my life here.
I embraced solitude as a space for healing.
I dared to dream new dreams—and they were nothing like what I’d planned.
But they were mine.
Thought Evaluation Exercise
To help us break free from the status quo, Walter encourages a thought evaluation exercise—a simple but powerful decision-making tool.
Let’s walk through it:
- Draw a large cross on a paper, creating four boxes.
- Label each box with:
- ✅ Advantages of staying where you are
- ❌ Disadvantages of staying where you are
- 🌱 Advantages of making a change
- ⚠️ Disadvantages of making a change
- ✅ Advantages of staying where you are
- Spend at least 10 full minutes thinking and listing in each box. Be brutally honest.
- Walk away—sleep on it. Revisit your answers tomorrow.
- If possible, talk to someone wise and safe. Get a second lens.
- Now, ask yourself:
“If I were looking at this with logic, not fear… what would I choose?”
I’ve done this.
And seeing it all laid out on paper? It’s like fog lifting from your mind.
You stop spinning in “what-ifs” and start seeing the truth.
This is how we learn to challenge our comfort zones—with clarity and courage.
Don’t Let the Familiar Rob You of the Future
The greatest threat to your dreams isn’t failure—it’s settling.
Settling for routines that numb you.
Settling for relationships that deplete you.
Settling for a life that doesn’t match your soul.
Daniel Walter’s words are clear:
” The enemy of success isn’t chaos, it’s comfort”.
Know this:
You weren’t born to repeat the past.
You were born to rewrite your future.
And that begins the moment you challenge the status quo.
Let’s grow together.
Chapter 4: The Dunning-Kruger Effect – A Reality Check
“One of the most dangerous places we can ever live in… is the illusion that we know everything. It’s the quiet overconfidence that whispers, ‘I already know enough,’ even when our results tell us otherwise. After all, how can we grow if we don’t know what we don’t know?”
What Is the Dunning-Kruger Effect?
At its core, the Dunning-Kruger Effect is a cognitive bias — a blind spot in the way we view ourselves. It happens when people with low ability or knowledge in a specific area overestimate their competence. In other words, the less someone knows, the more confident they feel that they know it all.
The effect was discovered in 1999 by social psychologists David Dunning and Justin Kruger. Through experiments, they found that people with limited skills often lacked the self-awareness to see their own shortcomings — and ironically, that same lack of skill made them believe they were doing just fine.
Imagine trying to speak Japanese fluently after just one lesson and thinking, “I got this!” — only to later realize you misunderstood half of what was said. That’s the Dunning-Kruger Effect at work.
How It Shows Up in Our Lives (Especially Abroad)
As foreigners in Japan, this effect can sneak in quietly. When I first arrived, I thought I had everything under control — a marriage, a new home, and a chance to start a better life. I assumed navigating daily life in Japan would be easy because I was “smart” and “strong.”
But soon, reality humbled me.
I couldn’t understand government documents. I didn’t know how the school system worked. I made decisions I wasn’t ready for, and I thought I could “fix” everything on my own — even my marriage — simply by trying harder. But trying without learning is just spinning in circles.
The painful truth? I didn’t know what I didn’t know… and it kept me stuck.
The Connection Between the Dunning-Kruger Effect and Self-Discipline
Here’s the powerful link Daniel Walter shares:
Without self-discipline, the Dunning-Kruger Effect wins.
Why? Because discipline is what keeps us grounded enough to say: “ Maybe I don’t know enough, Maybe I still have something to learn”.
It takes discipline to read books, to seek mentors, to reflect honestly, and to challenge our egos. It’s hard. Most people would rather stay comfortable in their illusions than face the truth of their limitations.
But the disciplined person chooses growth over pride.
In Japan, I’ve had to discipline myself to re-learn life from scratch — how to maintain my composure when I felt so broken inside, how to handle a broken marriage, how to co-parent with dignity, how to dream again despite failure. It isn’t easy most of the time. But it’s also the path to becoming wise, strong, and free.
The Solution
Daniel Walter offers a clear path to overcoming the Dunning-Kruger trap:
- Admit what you don’t know.
- Don’t fake confidence. Real growth starts with humility.
- Don’t fake confidence. Real growth starts with humility.
- Commit to lifelong learning.
- Read. Study. Reflect. Ask questions. Stay curious, not cocky.
- Read. Study. Reflect. Ask questions. Stay curious, not cocky.
- Be open to feedback.
- Find someone who can be honest with you — a coach, a friend, a mentor.
- Find someone who can be honest with you — a coach, a friend, a mentor.
- Embrace the discomfort of being a beginner.
- Mastery begins where comfort ends. Let yourself be a student again.
- Mastery begins where comfort ends. Let yourself be a student again.
- Practice self-awareness through journaling or self-reflection.
- What mistakes do you keep repeating? What do your results tell you?
- What mistakes do you keep repeating? What do your results tell you?
Real Talk – From My Life in Japan
As for me, I’ve realized that the moment I said, “I don’t know how to make this marriage work,” was the moment I became empowered
The moment I said, “I need to learn how to rebuild my life,” was the moment things began to change.
I stopped pretending I had it all together. I gave myself permission to learn — slowly, painfully, courageously — and that has made all the difference.
Powerful Insight to Leave With:
“The most dangerous lie we tell ourselves is that we already know enough. The bravest thing we can do is begin again — with open hands, honest eyes, and the discipline to learn. Because the people who change their lives… are not the ones who ‘know it all.’ They’re the ones who are willing to admit they don’t — and decide to grow anyway.”
Chapter 5: Daily Habits to Improve Self-Discipline
“Discipline isn’t built in grand moments. It’s crafted in quiet, unseen habits — the ones you choose when no one is watching.”
When I first started this journey of rebuilding myself — emotionally, financially, spiritually — I was desperate for big breakthroughs. But what I found instead were small choices, daily habits, and simple disciplines that transformed my life one quiet morning at a time.
Daniel Walter explains that discipline is like a muscle — it must be trained daily. And the most powerful training ground isn’t in crisis or chaos… It’s in the ordinary, everyday rhythms of your life.
Below are some of the most powerful daily habits to nurture your self-discipline — habits that helped me rise again here in Japan, even when everything felt like it was falling apart.
1. Your Morning Routine: Command Your Day
“How you start your morning determines your direction — not just for the day, but for your destiny.”
Before, I used to wake up feeling defeated before the day even began. I’d check my phone, feel overwhelmed, and drag myself into survival mode.
Now, I wake up and give myself space — space to breathe, reflect, and realign. Whether it’s 10 quiet minutes before my daughters wake up or a simple stretch while the kettle boils, I start on purpose.
Morning habits to consider:
- Make your bed (a small win!)
- Drink a glass of water
- Review your goals for the day
- Read or listen to something that lifts your soul
2. Your Final Hour of the Day: Power Down with Purpose
“Your sleep is the bridge between your battles and your breakthroughs.”
The last hour before bed is where most people lose their discipline. Scrolling endlessly, overthinking, or binge-watching until midnight robs us of rest and clarity.
When I started protecting this sacred hour, everything changed. I felt calmer, slept better, and woke up with more peace.
Evening discipline rituals:
- No screens 30–60 minutes before bed
- Write down 3 things you’re grateful for
- Reflect: What did I do well today? What can I do better tomorrow?
- Prepare clothes or a to-do list for tomorrow
3. Practice Gratitude: The Discipline of Seeing the Good
“Gratitude is a muscle of the mind. The more you use it, the stronger your focus becomes.”
It’s easy to feel frustrated when you’re far from home, especially in a country where everything feels unfamiliar. But gratitude helps you shift your energy from what’s missing to what’s meaningful.
I began writing down three things I was thankful for each night — even if it was just my daughter’s smile or a warm bowl of tunjeru. Over time, this simple habit rewired my thoughts.
4. Set Daily Goals: Keep Your Eyes on the Path
“Big dreams are built on small wins repeated daily.”
Every morning, I write down 3 small goals for the day. They don’t have to be grand — sometimes it’s “write for 30 minutes” or “read one chapter” — but they give me direction.
Discipline is focus in motion. Without a plan, your day will drift. But with goals, you’ll move forward — no matter how slowly.
5. Stay Organized: Create a Life That Supports Discipline
“Chaos creates excuses. Clarity creates discipline.”
Discipline struggles when your space and time are out of control. I began setting weekly check-ins to clean my home, sort finances, and declutter distractions.
I use a notebook or phone app to track tasks. Every small organization habit builds a mental environment where discipline can thrive.
6. Perform These Two Habits Before 8 AM: Pray + Read
“Your first hour should belong to your soul.”
No matter how hectic life is, I try to do these two things before 8 AM:
1. Pray or Meditate
Even a 5-minute prayer grounds me. It reminds me I’m not walking alone. When everything around me feels uncertain, prayer anchors my heart.
2. Read Something Uplifting
Instead of drowning in social media, I choose to read one page of something empowering — sometimes it’s a quote, a Bible verse, or a chapter from a book that feeds my mind.
Powerful Insight
“Discipline isn’t something you wait to feel. It’s something you wake up and practice — with shaky hands, sleepy eyes, and unwavering faith.”
In the stillness of the early mornings here in Japan, while my children are still asleep and the streets outside are quiet, I am rebuilding a new life — one small discipline at a time.
I’m no longer waiting for motivation to strike. I’m showing up, day after day, even when no one sees.
Because I know now: it’s the daily habits, not the dramatic moments, that shape the woman I’m becoming.
“Discipline isn’t just about doing hard things. It’s about doing the right small things—consistently—until the right life unfolds in front of me.”
Back when I was overwhelmed—juggling motherhood, emotional pain, financial stress, and life in a foreign land—I used to think big changes needed grand actions. But I was wrong. It wasn’t the big, dramatic efforts that changed my life… It was the quiet, consistent, disciplined habits I committed to every single day.
In this chapter, we’ll uncover simple yet powerful strategies from the book that can reshape your habits—and your life—one choice at a time.
Chapter 6: Tips for Building Better Habits
Building strong habits is the secret foundation for self-discipline and lasting success. It’s not just about willpower—it’s about designing your life so the right actions become effortless and automatic. In this chapter, we’ll explore practical strategies, including powerful mental hacks like the 10-Minute Rule, that help you build better habits and make your dreams real.
The 40% Rule: Pushing Beyond Limits
The Navy SEALs’ 40% Rule teaches us that when we feel like we’ve reached our limit, we’re often only 40% done. This insight pushes you to tap into your hidden reserves, whether it’s powering through a tough day or staying consistent with your goals. When living in Japan as a foreigner, especially juggling motherhood, blogging, and daily life, I’ve learned that pushing past the “I can’t” moment leads to breakthroughs in learning, work, and personal growth.
Arousal Control: Mastering Your Energy
Self-discipline thrives when your body and mind are balanced. Managing your stress, energy, and focus—what psychologists call “arousal control”—is key. Simple habits like mindful breathing, stretching, or taking brief breaks refresh your brain and prevent burnout. These moments of calm recharge my willpower, especially during hectic days caring for my children while managing my full-time job.
The 10% Rule by Grant Cardone: Small Steps Lead to Big Change
Grant Cardone’s 10% Rule encourages taking consistent small actions—just 10% more effort every day. Over time, these small increases compound into remarkable growth. In Japan, consistent small steps like talking to my Japanese friends daily or dedicating 10 minutes to writing make huge differences in progress and confidence.
The 10-Minute Rule: Outsmarting Your Inner Chimpanzee
Here’s a surprising truth from a Harvard study: when given the choice between two treats now or six treats after a wait, chimpanzees waited 72% of the time, while humans waited only 19%. Why? Our highly developed brains tend to overthink and rationalize reasons to settle for less now. We tell ourselves excuses like, “I deserve this now,” or “I don’t really want the bigger reward later anyway.”
This is where the 10-Minute Rule becomes a game-changer. It asks you to commit to just ten minutes of a task, not the whole overwhelming project. This small commitment calms the emotional “chimpanzee brain” inside you, making it easier to start. Once you begin, your logical human brain often takes over, and momentum builds naturally.
Living in Japan, I use the 10-Minute Rule to overcome resistance, whether it’s starting a blog post, practicing Japanese, or organizing my day. It’s a simple but powerful way to bridge the gap between impulse and intention, helping me win daily battles of self-discipline.
Harvard Study Insights: Why We Struggle to Wait
The Harvard study beautifully highlights how our minds trick us into instant gratification, even when waiting leads to better outcomes. Recognizing this pattern in myself helped me understand why self-discipline can feel so difficult, especially when balancing the demands of motherhood and life in a foreign country. It’s a daily exercise in patience and kindness toward myself, while still pushing for growth.
Let’s Build Better Habits
Building better habits is less about magic and more about smart design. The secret lies in understanding your mind’s natural tendencies, respecting your limits, and gently guiding yourself forward with practical rules like the 10-Minute Rule and the 40% Rule.
Living as a foreigner in Japan, juggling many roles and challenges, I’ve realized that true discipline is an act of love toward your future self. It’s about creating small, steady wins that build unstoppable momentum. When you master these habits, you don’t just change your actions—you transform your entire life.
Let this chapter remind you: every tiny habit you build today is a seed of your future success. Keep planting, nurturing, and believing in yourself. The journey is yours—and it’s worth every step.
Final Words: Discipline Is the Bridge Between Who You Are and Who You’re Meant to Be
Discipline isn’t just about waking up early or finishing a to-do list. It’s about becoming someone who refuses to be ruled by fear, comfort, or past pain. It’s about rewriting the narrative—no matter how broken or uncertain it once was.
There was a time in my life when I felt completely lost. I was far from my family, struggling financially, emotionally worn out from a marriage that left me feeling invisible. I had every excuse to give up, to live in survival mode, to settle.
But something in me—maybe the mother, the dreamer, the woman who had always known she was made for more—chose to rise.
And it didn’t happen overnight.
It happened by waking up and choosing to try again. By writing one more blog post when I felt like hiding. By learning to manage my emotions instead of being ruled by them. By trading instant comfort for the long, quiet process of growth.
Discipline gave me back my voice. It gave me a future I can believe in. And it’s giving my children a mother who shows them what resilience looks like.
You see, discipline isn’t a punishment—it’s a promise.
A promise that your past doesn’t define your future.
A promise that every small, consistent action counts.
A promise that even if your world feels out of control, you still hold the power to change your direction.
So today, I challenge you:
Don’t just dream. Don’t just plan. Decide.
Decide to build the kind of discipline that honors your future self.
The kind that breaks generational cycles.
The kind that turns ordinary days into a meaningful life.
You are not powerless. You are not too late.
You are in the middle of becoming something extraordinary.
Let this be the season you stop waiting for motivation… and start walking in discipline.
Because you are worth the life that’s waiting for you on the other side.
